Category — Careers

“Who I Was Born to Be” is sung by Susan Boyle on her first CD, “I Dreamed a Dream”.  This song’s lyrics have touched my heart.  Here are some of the lyrics:

When I was a child

I could see the wind in the trees

And I heard a song in the breeze

It was there, singing out my name.

But I’m not a girl

I have known the taste of defeat

And I’ve finally grown to believe

It will all come around again.

And though I may not

Know the answers

I can finally say I’m free

And if the questions

Lead me here, then

I am who I was born to be.

Wow, how true those words are in my life, and probably in yours.  As a girl I had a life filled with parents who loved me and who wanted the best for me.  I had a twin sister with whom I grew up.  Although we didn’t always get along, we always knew we had each other’s back. 

There were great expectations that I would go to college, then get married, and have a carefree life.  The problem was that I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life with respect to college or a career.  I started college but found that being away from my family was too hard and so I quit college after the first semester, my first defeat.

 When I tried to find a job, I had no degree, so getting into a prestigious career was impossible.  I didn’t know what I wanted to pursue so any job would fill the bill.  I took a receptionist job.  At that first job, I met an older man who swept me off my proverbial feet, made me his secretary (a promotion from receptionist) and ultimately, made me his wife.  We had a good life together and had a wonderful son.  However, this part of my life would only last for 15 years.  In the days following our 15^th anniversary, my husband died of lung cancer after only four months of illness.  This was my second defeat.

A year after my first husband died, I was remarried.  Again I was very happy.  My son had a wonderful step-dad and I had a great husband.  We forged a bond between the three of us which we thought would last forever.  My son grew into a model teenager who never gave us any trouble, was a star athlete, and a great student.  He went to college and got his undergrad and master’s degrees.  When he landed his first real job in his desired career field, my husband helped him move into his first apartment in a state six hours from our home, helped him buy his first car, and then returned home. 

 Upon returning home, my husband told me of pains he was having in the top of his stomach.  In a few days he ended up in the emergency room where, after a day of testing, a CAT scan found many spots in his body which were cancer.  The phone call to our son in a new city six hours away telling him that his second dad had cancer brought a scream of pain on my son’s end of the phone that I will never forget.  Within ten months, my second husband had died of cancer; another defeat. 

 After my second husband died, I began to think there might be something wrong with me.  What could I have done to stop this from happening?  Was I being punished for some wrong-doing of which I wasn’t even aware?  Why had this happened again?  What would I do from this point on?  Could I even go on?

Well, it has now been almost 9 years since my second husband died, and I am ruminating on the words of Susan Boyle’s song. 

 “When I was a child, I could see the wind in the trees and I heard a song in the breeze; it was singing out my name.”   Life for me as a child was full of promise and hope.

 “But I’m not a girl.  I have known the taste of defeat and I’ve finally grown to believe it will all come around again.”  After a failed educational experience, and two good marriages that ended in my being widowed, I became worried that bad things are always just around the corner.

 “And though I may not know the answers, I can finally say I’m free.  And if the questions lead me here, then I am who I was born to be.”  WOW…what a concept…I am who I was born to be!  This life I have experienced is not all in vain.  I don’t have to know all the answers but I can be free of the pain and regret because it is all in God’s plan.  Since I believe the Bible is true, and God says in the book of Jeremiah, Chapter 29, verse 11, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,”  (NIV),  I know that the things I have experienced will make me stronger and be used to help others.

 The things that I once counted as defeats were turned into triumphs as I completed my education and received a degree in Psychology with a certification as a Life Coach;  married again and have another great marriage; and have a career as a Life Coach which fulfills my passion.  I have found fun in my life through ballroom dancing, and I have found faith and hope in Jesus Christ. As a new decade begins, I have peace, joy, and hope for the future. 

 Where does the new decade find you?  Let’s talk.  Please email your thoughts to me at marcy@marcythecoach.com.  I’m looking forward to our time together.

WAYS TO REDUCE RISK IN ANY SITUATION

Life is full of risks.  Although many people thrive on taking risks, most people worry about risk and sometimes are paralyzed when they think about taking on a decision that entails risk.  We cannot avoid risk but we can reduce or mitigate it if we take the time to go through a few simple steps. 

Define the problem in writing

Writing out a problem allows you to really dissect it and understand it.   Also, having a problem written down allows you to go back to it as often as necessary to study it.  Studying the problem often allows you to see  aspects of it that you never before considered.

 Write out all possible outcomes and solutions

After the problem has been defined, you should give a lot of thought to all the possible solutions. Each solution will have its own set of outcomes or consequences (Pros and Cons).  These outcomes are the “what ifs” as in “what if we do  nothing?” or “what if we (fill in the blank)?”.  Listing each solution with its outcomes (pros and cons) on a separate page will help  you move through this process.

 Write out the pros and cons for each possible solution

I like to write out the problem on the top of the page, then write the solution, and finally, draw a line down the center of the page and write“Pros” on the left and “Cons” on the right.  List every good consequence or outcome about the idea (pro) and bad consequence or outcome (con).   When finished I will have one page for each solution with a list of Pros and Cons for each outcome of each solution.

Sample problem:

What color should I paint my house?

Possible solution on its own sheet of paper:

Paint the house white

Pros for painting the house white:

It will be the same as it already is (assuming my house is white).

It will look cleaner and will not stand out as a new color.

Cons for painting the house white:

I am tired of living in a white house.

White is boring.

I want something that stands out in the neighborhood.

Another possible solution on a separate piece of paper:

Paint the house red

Pros for painting the house red:

I like to see red houses so it will make me happy.

It will stand out in the neighborhood.

Cons for painting the house red:

My neighbors may be unhappy with red.

Red paint seems to fade over time and may not look good in a few years.

Another possible solution on a separate piece of paper:

Do nothing (don’t paint the house)

Pros for not painting the house:

I will save the money it would cost to buy paint and have it painted.

Nothing will change so my neighbors will not have to deal with a new color.

Cons for not painting the house:

The house will not look cleaner and better.

The siding will not be protected against the weather.

I will have taken the easy way out.

After you go through every outcome, allow some time to elapse (perhaps over night) before moving on to the next step.  Keep adding to the Pros and Cons list until you have thoroughly gone through each outcome.                 

 Rank each solution with respect to the possibility of its success

Now is the time to rank the solution papers according to the solution you think will have the best outcome as determined by your Pros and Cons list.

Write the ranking of each solution on each Pros and Cons paper and move on to the final step.  Be sure to write out somewhere if “1″ is the best or worst solution so you remember how you ranked them.

Decide how you will proceed and implement the plan.

Finally, make a decision on which outcome or solution you will use and  implement that plan. 

The hardest part is often the actual implementation of the plan but if you don’t  “do something” this exercise will have been a waste of time and the problem will not be solved. 

Doing nothing is actually “doing something” so “doing nothing” should always be one of the possible solutions you consider.

 If you just can’t bring yourself to implement your decision, call your coach and ask her to hold you accountable to do what you set out to do!  That’s what coaches are for! 

Happy decision-making!

You Are in Charge of Your Career

Being in charge of your career is an awesome responsibility.  You may have dreams for your future but they will remain only dreams unless you turn them into SMART goals and reach at least some of them.   

One point that differentiates a goal from a dream is that a goal is written.

A SMART goal is a written goal that is:

Specific…you can describe it concretely to others

Measurable…you can tell when you have accomplished it

Attainable…it is something you can actually do 

Relevant…it is something that makes sense to do in your life

Time-specific…there is a date when you will have attained the goal

 Today the thought is that individuals may change careers as many as 4 or 5 times during their working lives.  The idea that you may have 4 or 5 careers can be overwhelming if you don’t even know what you want to do for your first career! 

Remember, you don’t have to know everything all at once. Everyday you learn a little more about all sorts of topics and your ideas will change.

 But, how can you have several careers and what does that really mean?  Everyone’s career path will obviously be different.  Some will train for a career and stay in that career. Others will go into a certain field like medicine, law, or business, and move around in that field.

What you do will be up to you and only you. 

YOU GET TO MAKE THE DIFFERENCE IN YOUR SUCCESS! 

YOU ARE IN CHARGE

 So, what does it mean to be in charge of your career destiny?  To move ahead, you have to take some risks and make plenty of decisions.  Each decision will have its own good and bad consequences.  However, your attitude about everything in your life will determine how you respond to what happens to you.

 YOU CAN’T ALWAYS DETERMINE WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU, BUT YOU CAN DETERMINE WHAT YOU DO IN RESPONSE TO WHAT HAPPENS.

One of the most important things in life is to be TEACHABLE but one of the hardest things is to figure out to whom we should listen and who should be our teachers.  There will be people who care about you and teach you things that are for your good.  However, there may also be people who will want to take advantage of you.  The key is determining if someone is giving you advice that is for your good or advice that will help them but be bad for you.  Learning to decern good motives from bad will help you know to whom you should listen.

So, how do you determine what you want to do in life?  The answer is simple, think about what you love to do and figure out a way to legally be paid for it.

What are some things you like to do? 

Maybe you like to:

 Be around sports…be a professional player, sports marketer or coach

Help others to determine what they want to do…become a Life Coach

Counsel others…become a psychologist or therapist

Watch movies…become a movie critic

Dress up in beautiful clothes…become a model

Organize things…become a professional organizer

Assist others…become a social worker, nurse, insurance sales person,  or administrative assistant

Be an advocate for people who need help…become a lawyer, politician, or social worker

Sell things…sell clothes, insurance, stocks, bonds, perfume, makeup, auto parts, sports equipment, pharmaceuticals, real estate, etc.

Influence others…become an expert in something and then tell others about it

Have no boss but yourself…figure out what type of  business you can run and start your own business    

The power of your imagination allows you to go beyond yourself and be placed into careers that you have never before thought of.

If you don’t know where you want to go

you will never know when you get there.,